It seems like I have posted about this before. I'm not sure. Maybe it's just that I have shared this experience with many younger woman. But if I'm repeating myself... well, let's not go there!
I read a blog post today that reminded me of my own experience from years ago. Life was very busy. I worked a full-time job outside the home. I was mom to two active boys. Hubby did some international business travel which sometimes took him away for a week or more at a time. We were all active in our church. You get the picture.
Every now and then I had an opportunity to go away on a weekend women's retreat with the ladies from church. Such blessed times! One time we decided to do a "partial" silent retreat. We stayed at a convent about 4 hours from home. It was situated on lovely grounds, and all our meals were served. Our rooms were private, clean, and plain. There was a combination of scheduled sessions interspersed with free time to walk the grounds, meditate, read, or do whatever we wanted. We were not permitted to speak until after breakfast and chapel. That meant we got up in the morning, showered and dressed, and went back to our individual rooms until it was time to eat. We ate together, but silently. We attended chapel and had communion, all in silence.
It is amazing how you can clear your head of so much static just by being quiet. Even after we were permitted to talk, instead of a bunch of female chatter with one another, we seemed to maintain a rather hushed, reverent tone of voice with each other. It was like everyone respected the fact that we all most likely had a lot of deep thinking and soul searching going on, and no one wanted to break into the holiness of the atmosphere of the retreat.
One morning when I was alone in my room praying before the breakfast hour, I told God how grateful I was for this "time apart"...time that I could just be alone with Him. I was feeling so blessed and refreshed. Then it happened. I cannot explain it, but I know I somehow heard and recognized the voice of God. He quite distinctly said these words to me: "You know, you can have this special time with me every day of your life if you will just get up before your family and meet with me."
For several years after that, I got up between 4 and 4:30 am and went downstairs to our family room. I lit a candle and turned on the soft lights, and spent about 1 1/2 hours reading my bible, journaling, and praying. It became a habit and it was a real time of intimacy with my Lord. It gave me strength to face the day ahead. I had time to not just talk to God, but listen to Him.
Eventually I no longer needed to get up so early to have my quiet time. I cut back on my working hours, my family grew up, and I had plenty of time during the day to do my bible study and prayer. But I did miss it. I think I missed it the most because it was an idea that God had personally given to me. A special gift from Him to me.
Now, so many years later, I am revisiting this old habit. Back in November of last year I renewed the habit of having my quiet time early in the morning. Nowadays our alarm clock goes off at 5 am and my hubby leaves for work at 6:30. I take that first hour, between 6:30 and 7:30 to read, pray, and journal. I'm not totally where I need to be with this yet, but I'm getting there. There are many temptations not to do it: watching the morning news on TV, checking email and writing or reading blog posts, laziness, tiredness, etc. But this renewed habit I am forming again really blessed me this past year through the holiday season. I can honestly say I was not stressed like I normally get, and I felt like I lived every day very intentionally. Now, because I babysit two of my grandchildren several days a week, and help my mom get around the other days, my life seems busier again. That calls for more consistency in the ordering of my day.
I'm not the same person I was 25 years ago and my situation is different than it was then, but my need to have uninterrupted time alone with myself and with God remain. In the blog I mentioned above, (another Jackie) uses a portable basket filled with her bible, journal, pen, devotional, and a candle. I'm going to do this too!
I would love to hear how others manage their quiet times. Let's share some ideas! And I will leave you with a haunting thought I've had for months: What would our lives look like if we spent as much time alone with God that we spend on the internet?
Humm....
For newer readers, this is a post I wrote last October, before I reinstated my early morning discipline for quiet time.
