The church had a large shower for them just last week. How well I remember 30 years ago how excited I was after being given several baby showers for our firstborn. Bringing all those gifts home, going through them and just bursting with joy while waiting...arranging things in the drawers and on those little hangers, feeling the softness of the little pastel receiving blankets and imagining a baby the size of those cute little outfits.
They don't know what went wrong, and perhaps never will. Everything seemed fine until a couple days ago when no movement was noticed. A check up confirmed the baby had died. The mother was induced and had to go through a very difficult labor and delivery. The parents named their child and held him briefly while waiting for the preparations to be made for a private family burial service.
This couple's family live out of town, so the Church will really need to be the Church in the coming days, weeks, months to help see them through this ordeal. They are hurting so badly and totally devastated right now. I can't even imagine their pain. Meals that have been sent have been delivered through the pastor because they just can't bear to see anyone yet. I think in our society today where abortion is legal and so many make that choice, those who lose pregnancies and have a difficult time bearing children are wounded all the more.
For all the strong faith that believers in Jesus have, for all the wonderful Bible verses that have been memorized and quoted, and for all the encouraging words we like to give one another, this is, as we say in Akron, where the rubber meets the road. Christianity is no longer merely our "religion". It either works or it isn't real. God really has a plan for us or we are just wasting our time.
I don't have all the answers when life throws these kinds of curveballs. I cannot presume to know what God has in mind in a situation like this. But I do know one thing for sure: when we cannot see the hand of God, we can trust His heart. He is nothing but good, and our understanding of His goodness is incomplete. His ways are beyond tracing out. His Word tells us that, and His Word is trustworthy.
Please pray for this young couple today. Pray that God will be very near and dear to them. Pray that their brothers and sisters in Christ will be able to comfort them with the comfort they themselves have received. Pray that God will use this testing of their faith for His glory. Pray that they may be healed in body, mind, and spirit.
Thank you for sharing this burden today. God bless you and make you a blessing.
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ"
Galatians 6:2
6 comments:
Jacquelyn, my heart goes out to them. I know first hand how much it hurts to have to bury your child. We have done that with an infant and an adult child. It is never easy. You want to withdraw from the world, crawl in a hole and never come out. If God were not in out lives, I imagine that is exactly what we would have done. They surely will need the church to be the church as you stated. It always seems a bit trite to quote that God never gives us more than we can bear, but we know God does not lie. We may never understand it or know the why of it, but we do have to trust His Word, that He will never leave or forsake us. This just touches my heart more than you can know. PLease know that they will be in my thoughts and prayers during the upcoming weeks.
Rose, I so appreciate what you have said here. I'm so sorry for your loss as well. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers...as one who has "been there" you surely know what this young couple is feeling right now. It is a dark, rainy, cold and dreary day here in NE OH this morning and I'm sure that is what it feels like in their souls today. But God promises that joy will come in the morning. He understands the deep groanings in our hearts. Where else can we go but to the Lord?
Knowing first-hand what this dear family is going through, my prayer is that God will bring peace that passes all understanding, comfort to every questioning moment, and stronger faith through it all.
I remember there were some well-meaning church friends who felt like they had to 'teach' us something through the loss of our baby. One lady came over and told us that God 'took' our baby because He knew our child was going to grow up to never receive Jesus. (Which of course left me wondering why there are any unsaved in the world today if God 'takes' them). Another told me that I needed to search my heart because it was some sort of sin in my life that caused this.
Those were statements that I remember to this day and the words were almost as wounding to my heart and spirit as losing the baby.
The one's I loved the most though, were those dear Christian friends who brought us a meal, a card, some offer of help, and simply said, "I have no words of explanation. Just know that I am here for you and I will hold you up in prayer."
We will be praying for this couple and for the Holy Spirit to prompt the people of your church to minister straight to their grieving hearts.
Deb, I'm so sorry about those "well meaning" people who had no clue. I actually warned my mom about this very thing (not that I thought she would say anything like that, having lost a 15 yr old child herself) but I told her that saying nothing when there really are no words but just "being" for this couple is what is needed right now, just like you said. People living by the Spirit would never presume to say such wounding words. I hope reading this did not cause you and Rose undue pain today. But we do weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. My spirit is sure grieving this morning.
Jacquelyn,
I'm a firm believer that as we allow God to carry us through the difficulties of life, he allows those experiences to have true compassion for others who are going through similar circumstances.
Your post didn't cause undue pain, but it did bring to mind the pain your friends are suffering right now. And how fragile their hearts and spirits must be during this time.
And it brought to remembrance that many of us have children in the care of THE Babysitter. And one day we'll be reunited. For that, I'm eternally grateful.
Amen Deb! It has been 43 years since my brother died...
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